Every day we are faced with countless thoughts and feelings. Thousands of them in fact. Socially we have been pre-programmed to label most of these in a certain way...
Don't believe me? Have a go:
Happiness = good/bad
Love = good/bad
Frustration = good/bad
Sadness = good/bad
Anger = good/bad
Fear = good/bad
Loneliness = good/bad
Boredom = good/bad
How many did you score good? How many bad?
Here is where it gets interesting. When I view something as bad, my brain immediately starts to problem solve. How do I get rid of this? It feels off, unsafe even? Alert! Alert! Alert.
Nek minute I do all I can to avoid what I am feeling and this often results in an endless struggle that is draining, and really not good for my self-view, because 9 out of 10 times, I lose!
This is the crux of all things anxiety and depression when it comes to the cognitive processes and accompanying physiological reactions.
In my work, I place a significant emphasis on Acceptance. Acceptance is not giving up, and it is not rolling over either. It is a process that takes practice, and one of the first steps towards a meaningful life.
Acceptance involves acknowledging the discomfort, whether it is a thought or a feeling, and allowing it to just be present. Doing this takes significantly less energy than engaging in an endless tug of war. I can use the energy I am saving to observe with curiosity, non judgementally and then use these observations to accommodate this feeling and what it needs. It may need space, or time. It may even only need to be acknowledged, before it goes on its way. It will be back, but it will always go again, like a tourist with a message <3
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