Do these seem familiar at all? Is that because you follow inspirational pages, or because you've seen them floating on the pages of your friends and your family?
What is your usual reaction to these kinds of posts?
Do you give them an emoji? Do you share? Or do you 'save photo' and create a new post sharing the content without leaving a trace? See if you do these things you are not non-typical, because most people respond in this way. We see these posts and do these things almost on auto-pilot without thinking much of it and then we keep scrolling to the next one and the next one. Occasionally we might like a post or give it a heart or care emoji, every once in a while we may comment with a 'You've got this', or 'Everything ok?' - to which the expected answer is : "yes, I'm fine".. I am guilty too, I have become complacent, because life is busy and I am busy and I care for people when I work, so when I don't, I may be guilty of simply scrolling by, not always particularly wanting to care outside of office hours, until something happened that got me reflecting. Very recently there was a tragedy that shook the expat South African community, and the one thing that struck me, was the nature of the social media posts by the person under scrutiny in the lead up to the tragedy.
We quite often use our social media channels for various reasons - procrastination , entertainment, education and connection are but a few of the reasons. Other reasons may include seeking attention (sadfishing) or crying out for help. Whilst sadfishing very much is a thing, and not a cry for help per sé, it may also reflect a deeper underlying problem. A study done in America (Counts, 2013.) indicated the frequency and duration of depressive posts can actually fairly accuratedly predict early signs of depression. Not in a like the self-diagnosing videos on TikTok kind of way, but in the way that it gives insight into how somebody is potentially feeling. Posting to social media has become an alternate communication style where someone can say something in a space where they do not physically have to risk and face rejection or ridicule, however it also makes it that much more powerful when it happens, but this is an entirely different topic. When our friends post memes or inspirational posts they may be communicating more about how they are feeling than what they are letting on. Those words may indeed be very reflective of their own levels of feeling stuck, helpless or hopeless.
How will you know? There is only one way. Pause. Pause and consider what you know about the person who posted this? Is it in their nature to inspire those around them, and how have you come to learn this, or are you simply accepting it as a fact? Consider what you know about their circumstances. Are they going through a tough time? Might they need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen? Consider whether this post is simply a reshare like you are about to do , or a deeper insight to how they (and you) might be feeling. Proceed. If you decide it is simply a cute/motivational moment, like and share away, but if you are in any way wondering if your friend is okay, ask. Ask a true, genuine open ended question - what's up? do you want to have a chat? Don't. Whatever you do, don't. Refrain from saying something along the lines of : 'you've got this' - it is the most invalidating statement thinkable. Albeit from a good place, these kinds of statement mostly emphasizes feelings of failure, and thoughts that say 'there is something wrong with me'.
Rather offer to listen, or encourage your friend to engage with a professional support service. If you do not have enough energy or feel unsure of how to care for your friend, guide your friend to someone else who can safely do the caring. We have been trained to listen and guide without judgment and may just have the skills to help them to a better place. *If you are concerned for someone else's safety, or have been triggered in any way please reach out to Lifeline 13 11 14, or 000 in case of an emergency.
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